The Dreams

So Randy and I have both had dreams. Too freaky if you ask me. I dreamed a few weeks ago we were referred TWINS. Then last night he dreamed I was pregnant and we had TWINS. I find that hilarious, really. Reason 1: We are only approved and have only requested 1 child. Reason 2: I'm gonna make me a million bucks suing my OB if I get pregnant, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, email me those name suggestions!

Taking Suggestions (Updated Just for Chevella)

As is usual for Randy and I, we are 'debating' the name we will give our new son. We will most likely incorporate his given name in with the new name we will give him. We also have a list of potential names. (I wont' bore you with the details and Alison, don't spill the beans) So for now, if you would leave me a comment on name suggestions, I'll add them to our list. We have requested a boy between the ages of 12-18 months at referral, healthy or minor special needs. At this point, that is all I know about our future son, other than the fact he will be Ethiopian, of course.

Thanks for any suggestions!

All 3 of the other kids have 6-letter names. So I'd say we were small to medium name kind of people. Nothing too extravagant but on the other hand, nothing that is in the top 10 of the Social Security Name Database for the last few years either.

FAQ#1

Just to keep things interesting while we wait, I thought I'd answer some questions that we have been asked (MANY TIMES). I think I answered these questions at least a million times during Ansley's adoption but what the hey, let's do it again.

DrumRoll Please: The #1 most asked question is "WHY".

Why adopt? Why international instead of domestic? Why 4 kids? Why..Why...Why!

We always, Always, ALWAYS knew if we were to have a family (the big question was not HOW to create our family but if we really wanted to have kids) adoption would be part of the equation. Whether or not we could/would/did have kids the 'conventional' way, we KNEW we would adopt. It just was always in our hearts. You can say it was put there by God or that we have a social conscience or whatever. It is what it is: we wanted to build our family at least partially via adoption. Lots of folks just don't understand that. (my turn to ask the question) Why? I do not know. It confounds me.

So there you have it. There is no magical story. We are not trying to be like Angelina, Meg, Madonna, Stephen Curtis Chapman or whomever you might read about in the news. We are not trying to save the 143 million orphans in the world 1 orphan at a time. Not to say that wouldn't be wonderful if all the people who had the means to adopt, would adopt. I'm sure that would take care of those 143 million kids. Alas, that is not our mission.

Bottom line: We have the means and the desire and the motivation and the love in our lives. We want to share that with our children, how many ever children that might be and however they might come into our lives. BTW, we think FOUR is just the right number. Judson on the other hand thinks we need many more. MANY MORE.

Fingerprints-CHECK

Picture it. A government office in an unassuming building. On the door is posted a sign stating, no phones, electronic equipment, food, drinks, etc. The five of us start to enter the building when we are met by a security guard. He asks to see our letters and informs us that if our kids make too much noise, we'll be asked to leave the building until they are quiet. (It's 32 degrees outside) That's how it started out.

Actually, it started with a 1 hour drive to get to the building. The kids were happy as little larks over there. We make it with 5 minutes to spare. We wait in line to be given a clip board with more paperwork to fill out. We fill it out and then wait in one more line to be given a number in order to wait, once again. At each checkpoint, they look at your fingers to make sure they can get a good print.

At check point two, I am given the number 127. I look up and check the NOW SERVING sign to see they are now serving #78. It's getting close to 11:30 at this point. (No food, games, drinks to keep 3 kids busy, mind you) Lots of creativity went into keeping our kids 'quiet' and 'happy' for 1 hour. At 12:30, they called my number. Fingerprinting went well.

The kids were great, really. So wonderful, in fact, we took them to McD's to play afterwards.

It's actually the same building/people/experience we encountered 2 years ago when we had to be fingerprinted for Ansley's adoption. I only wished they could have used those prints so we didn't have to go through the 'experience' again.

That's it. That's all. Now we wait for the all important piece of paper that grants us permission to bring an 'orphan' into the country. It's the last piece of paper we need in order to finalize our dossier (besides authentication of course). Hopefully, it comes in 2 to 3 weeks. (Who am I kidding, I'm hoping it comes tomorrow) Then we finalize the dossier and wait.

Conversation

Just spoke with our agency coordinator. She says they are still trying to make the referrals within 5 months. Assuming we get our dossier in in March, we could get our referral July/August. (NO GUARANTEES) Courts close Aug 8 through Sept 30 this year. So then we'd have to wait for a court date. Probably have to redo a lot of the paperwork. So you guys that wrote reference letters, please hold on to those copies. We may need you to rewrite them. She said they don't always require all pieces of paperwork to be redone. What can you do.

Meanwhile, we've met a lot of nice people who have or are 'in process' of adopting from Ethiopia. We've got a very active group. (This is nice as we've not been so lucky with forming a Taiwan group) We've met them twice at an Ethiopian restaurant in town. It's good to have that support. Plus, gotta say, I like many of the Ethiopian dishes, especially the veggies.

That's it from the ET front right now.

Take a Look

If you notice on the right hand side of the screen, you'll see a very basic time line of the adoption to this point. I say basic because it does not hit all the items necessary to get to this point in time. It does not take into account: Hours of required Hague training; Finger prints at the police station so the FBI can run a background check; DFCS background check; brand new birth/marriage certificates (can't be over 1 year old, go figure); blood/other tests (HIV/syphilis/tb); mounds of paperwork(letter of employment, insurance coverage, asking people to write letters of recommendation,financial statements, power of attorney); individual meeting with social worker telling her all about your life (birth to this point);having the septic tank inspected (yes...this is a step that has to be done); having all the paperwork notarized then certified (County level) then authenticated (state level waiting on Homeland security before finalizing this piece). After all of this, the paperwork (Dossier) then goes to D.C. for further 'blessings' before being sent to Ethiopia for translation.

I tell you all of this because I don't want anyone to think we entered into this endeavor lightly. Adding another child to your family is a huge HUGE step. It requires a LOT of thought and introspection. Deciding to add to your family via adoption is even more thought provoking. Adding a child from yet a different ethnic background (other than Asian and Caucasian which we already have) is an even BIGGER deal. This is NOT something you do on whim. It's a life changing process and one that requires much dedication and determination (and that's just to get to be on the waiting list).

Just wait til we get on the waiting list. That's when I'll be a basket case. Right now, it's easy. There are steps to follow and I have some control over them. I have no control over the time line after we go on the wait list. EVERYONE that knows me, knows I'm a control freak. I don't do well when I'm not in control. So I have on average, 3 to 5 months to wait before a referral. (I have NO CONTROL, do you hear me, NO CONTROL, over this part. Not good.) After that, then we wait 2'ish months to get a court date. (Again, NO CONTROL) Lest I forget, the courts close in Ethiopia for about 2 months. TWO MONTHS. During that time, no cases are heard. They close in August and September. Then if all goes well (no guarantee on that) and we make it through courts on the first try, we get word on when Randy will travel to go get our little boy. Again, I'm not in control, Randy is as he's going by himself. (He will do fine, I do know that) So the next few months will be a good opportunity to 'let go' and not worry. I'll be growing my character. Better my character than my waistline, I guess. (Or at least have my personal growth out pace my waistline growth)

Wish us luck!

So I need an outlet

We've started the process to adopt a little guy from Ethiopia. Since we haven't told everyone about our adoption, I haven't posted anything on our 'family' blog. Just thought I'd start rambling on this blog for a while. The other blog will be our MAIN blog but this will be where I get out all my frustrations.