FAQ #3: Why? Ethiopia?

Another frequently asked question is: Why Ethiopia? If you have never been 'drawn' to adoption, you'll never understand this explanation. If you are in the adoption world, it will make total sense.

There is a practical side to choosing a country from which you will adopt. You DO have to meet their criteria. All countries have some sort of criteria that potential adoptive parents must meet. Age, marriage status, etc. Therefore, when you are choosing a country, first and foremost, you have to be able to meet that country's criteria and the country has to meet your criteria for the child you are looking. The other practical side is What are the most common issues seen in children from the country? Can you handle those potential issues? Not that every child coming from that country will have these issues but the chances are greater that these issues will be seen in children from that country.

Beyond that, once you start researching countries, you begin to be drawn to one country over another. Maybe it's because you speak with people who've adopted from that country. Maybe it's because you've read stories about that country. Maybe it's because you see pictures of children from that country and are just drawn to those pictures. Maybe it's something else. Whatever it is, there is a definite 'pull' towards one country over another country. I think also during this time, your preconceived notions of what life is like in the country you are researching or what the people are like or why the children might be available for adoption, are shattered. Things you thought were true are not necessarily true and you begin to see that country in a different light from which you previously examined it.

At the time we were adopting Ansley, the pull was Taiwan over Guatemala or China. I remember talking to our agency rep at the time and asking, how do we know whether China or Taiwan or Guatemala is for us. She said, you'll know. Once you start researching and really looking at the country and requirements and the children, you'll know. She was right. This time, it was Ethiopia over a waiting child in China. It was a tough call but I feel like we made the right decision for us. Everyone who has or is adopting from Ethiopia has read Melissa Fay Greene's book, There is No Me Without You. She also has a website: http://www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com/ . If you check out this site, you might see why someone would be drawn to Ethiopia. Maybe you won't. Like I said, it's something that only someone who has been drawn to adoption can truly understand. Many people don't understand 'adoption' and therefore, won't understand a feeling that your child is waiting for you in a specific country. That is the feeling we had. We just KNEW our child was waiting for us in Ethiopia. It's a feeling that cannot be shaken. We knew there was a little boy out there somewhere who was waiting for us. That feeling led us to Ethiopia. It's not a hard science but rather a 'feeling'. Not emotion really, more like a gut instinct.